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In our pursuance of creating healthy employees, families, and communities, we will be having a bi-weekly article covering such issues. It is our goal to assist one and all in the betterment of life in the work place and at home. If you have a particular concern, or request for specific areas, we invite you to email your inquiry to our News Desk and we will respond to you as soon as possible.
What Can Parents Do to Help Their Children Be Drug Free
The anti-drug education that children are getting in school today only begins to counter the street-level "education" they can pick up from their peers and popular culture. As a caring parent, you are probably asking yourself what you can do to help your children to stay drug free.
Parents are the most important role models in children's lives. What they say and do about drugs matters significantly when it comes to the choices children make. 
Children who decide not to use alcohol or other drugs often make this decision because they have strong convictions against the use of these substances-convictions based on a value system. You can make your family's values clear by explaining why you choose a particular course of action and how that choice reflects your values.
When it comes to dangerous substances like alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs, don't assume that your children know where you stand. Children want you to talk to them about drugs. State your position clearly; if you're not clear, they may be tempted to use. Tell your children that you forbid them to use alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs because you love them. Make it clear that this rule holds true even at other people's houses. Will your child listen? Most likely. According to research, when a child decides whether or not to use alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs, a crucial consideration is, "What will my parents think?"
Also discuss the consequences of breaking the rules--what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Consequences must go hand-in-hand with limits so that your child understands that there are predictable outcomes to his choosing a particular course of action. The consequences you select should be reasonable and related to the violation. For example, if you catch your son smoking, you might "ground" him, restricting his social activities for two weeks. You could then use this time to show him how concerned you are about the serious health consequences of his smoking, and about the possibility that he'll become addicted, by having him study articles and books on the subject.
Contrary to some parents' fears, your strict rules do not alienate your children. They want you to show you care enough to lay down the law and to go to the trouble of enforcing it. Rules about drugs also give them reasons to fall back on when they feel tempted to make bad decisions.
Most importantly, always let your children know how happy you are that they respect the rules of the household by praising them. Emphasize the things your children do right, instead of focusing on what's wrong.
Talking With Your Children Effectively About Drugs
In today's complex and busy world, it is frustrating how few chances there are to have conversations about drugs with our children. To ensure that you have regular get-togethers with your children, try to schedule regular parent-child rituals and family meetings. Rituals, like having meals together at least once or twice a week, playing games, going to the library or to get ice cream together once a week, can be opportunities to help the family catch up and establish better and more open communication that is essential to raising drug-free children.
Family meetings held once a week can also be extremely valuable. Suggestions for making these successful include having a mutually agreed-upon time once a week and clear ground rules to make every one feel they get a chance to talk without fear of being criticized or punished. Ground rules that help are: Everyone gets a chance to talk; one person talks at a time without interruption; everyone listens; and only positive, constructive feedback is allowed. To get resistant children to join in, combine the get-together incentives such as post-meeting pizza or assign them important roles such as recording secretary or rule enforcer.
Another way to talk to your children about drugs is to take advantage of everyday "teachable moments."
- If you and your child are walking down the street, and you see a group of teenagers drinking and hanging out, talk about the negative effects of drinking alcohol.
- Watch TV with your children and ask them what they think.
- Whenever you see an anti-drug commercial on TV, use it as an opening to talk with your children about drugs. Ask them what they think about the commercial.
- Most importantly, you can take some simple everyday actions that can make a big difference in children's lives:
- Listen to what they are saying
- Look at them when you are listening--make eye contact
- Find out how their day was, what happened in school or with their friends
- Go to their events, i.e., sports games, plays, school shows
- Play games with them
- Talk with them
- Know who their friends are
- Know where your children are
- Set clear expectations for their behavior
- Be consistent in your training and discipline
- Give them lots of encouragement
- Create ways to have meaningful participation in their lives
- Ask them for their opinions
- Show them that they matter
- When they do well, praise them
- Talk to them about the dangers of substance use and abuse!
When There's A Family History Of Alcoholism Or Drug Abuse
If your family had a tendency for high blood pressure or diabetes, you'd tell your children they might inherit it. In the same way, they need to know about recurring patterns of substance abuse, particularly if you, your spouse, or their grandparents have had problems with alcohol or other drugs. Children of substance abusers are much more likely to become addicted if they use drugs: they may have inherited genes that make them react to alcohol and drugs differently, and they may have had more difficulty growing up.
When you use the example of a family member to illustrate why your children should be careful about trying alcohol and other drugs, you make a compelling argument. Try to find a positive perspective. If substance abuse is a persistent problem in your family, you might tell your children that being aware of the challenge that the future holds will better equip them to plan ahead and avoid potentially unhealthy situations.
In addition, it is important to be able to know what to say if your child ever asks you or your spouse about your own history of use or abuse.
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