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Kindergarten through Third Grade: Now is the time to begin to talk about alcohol and drugs and the consequences of using them. Discuss how drugs interfere with the way our bodies work and can make a person very sick or even cause them to die. Explain the idea of addiction - that drug use can become a very bad habit that is hard to stop. Praise your children for taking good care of their bodies and avoiding things that might harm them. By the time your children are in third grade, they should understand:

• How foods, poisons, medicines and illegal drugs differ.
• How medicines prescribed by a doctor and administered by a responsible adult may help during illness but can be harmful if misused; so, children need to stay away from any unknown substance.
• Why adults may drink but children may not, even in small amounts because it's harmful to children's developing brains and bodies.

Grades Four through Six: At this age, children can handle more sophisticated discussion about why people are attracted to drugs. You can use traumatic events, such as a car accident or divorce, to discuss how drugs can cause these events. Children this age also love to learn facts, especially strange ones. This age group can be fascinated by how drugs affect a user's brain or body. Explain how anything taken in excess - whether it's cough medicine or aspirin - can be dangerous. It is essential that your child's anti-drug attitudes be strong before entering junior high. Before leaving elementary school, your children should know:

• The immediate effects of alcohol, tobacco and drug use on different parts of the body, including risks of coma or fatal overdose.
• How and why drugs can be addicting and make users lose control of their lives.
• The reasons why drugs are especially dangerous for growing bodies.
• The problems that alcohol and other illegal drugs cause not only to the user, but the user's family.
• Rehearse scenarios in which friends offer drugs. Have your children practice delivering an emphatic "That stuff is really bad for you!" Give them permission to use you as an excuse: "My mom will kill me if I drink a beer!"

Teach your children to be aware of how drugs and alcohol are promoted. Discuss how advertising, songs, movies and TV shows bombard them with messages that using alcohol, tobacco and other drugs is glamorous. Make sure they are able to separate the myths of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs from the realities, and praise them for thinking for themselves.

Grades Seven through Nine: Although teenagers often seem unreceptive to their parents as they struggle to become independent, they need parental support, involvement and guidance more than ever. Young teens can experience rapid shifts in their bodies, emotional lives and relationships. Adolescence is often a confusing and stressful time, characterized by mood changes and insecurity, as teens struggle to figure out who they are and how to fit in. It's not surprising that this is the time when many young people try alcohol, tobacco and other drugs for the first time.

Parents may not realize that their young teens feel surrounded by drug use. Nearly nine out of 10 teens agree that "it seems like marijuana is everywhere these days." Teens are twice as likely to be using marijuana as parents believe they are, and teens are getting high in the places that parents think are safe havens, such as school, home and friends' houses. Parents profoundly shape the choices teens make about drugs. Take advantage of how much young people care about social image and appearance to point out the immediate, distasteful consequences of tobacco and marijuana use - for example, that smoking causes bad breath and stained teeth and makes clothes and hair smell. At the same time, you should discuss drugs' long-term effects:

• The lack of crucial social and emotional skills ordinarily learned during adolescence.
• The risk of lung cancer and emphysema from smoking.
• Car accidents and liver damage from heavy drinking.
• Addiction, brain coma and death.

Grades 10 through 12: Older teens already have had to make decisions many times about whether to try drugs. Today's teens are savvy about drug use, making distinctions not only among different drugs and their effects, but also among trial, occasional use and addiction. To resist peer pressure, teens need more than a general message not to use drugs. Teens need to be warned of the potentially deadly effects of combining drugs. They need to hear a parent's assertion that anyone can become an addict and that even non-addicted use can have serious permanent consequences. Because most high school students are future oriented, they are more likely to listen to discussions of how drugs can ruin chances of getting into a good college, being accepted by the military or being hired for certain jobs. Teenagers tend to be idealistic and enjoy hearing about ways they can help make the world a better place. Make sure teens understand the effect that drug use has on society. Appeal to your teen by pointing out how avoiding illegal drugs helps make your town a better place.

Your teenager may be aware of the debate over the legalization of marijuana and whether or not doctors should be able to prescribe it for medicinal purposes. The idea that there might be legitimate health advantages to an illegal drug is confusing. You may want to let your teen know that the ingredient in marijuana that has some medicinal value - delta-9- tetrahydrocannabinol - already can be prescribed by doctors in a pill form that doesn't contain the cancer-causing substances of smoked marijuana. Other medical painkillers include codeine and morphine, both of which have been determined safe for prescription use after rigorous testing and review by scientific medical organizations.

It is important that parents praise and encourage teens for all the things they do well and for the positive choices they make. When you are proud of your son or daughter, tell him or her. Knowing they are seen and appreciated by the adults in their lives is highly motivating and can shore up their commitments to avoid drug use. Your teen also may be impressed by the importance of serving as a good role model for a younger brother or sister.