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"Practicing Anger Management"

Angry PersonLike any other skill, managing anger takes practice. The next time you get angry, try these approaches:

  • Avoid blaming, attacking or bringing up other grievances.

  • Use "I" statements, such as "I feel angry when....". Blaming statements often start with "you", e.g. "You never...".

  • Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Allow yourself to be "wrong" some of the time.

  • Can the situation be changed or avoided in the future? If the answer is yes, think about how that can be accomplished. If the answer is no, work toward acceptance. Remember, you can't control other people's behaviour, but you can control the way you respond.

  • Know your limits! Seek counselling if anger continues to be a big problem for you.

Measuring Assertiveness
Some times assertiveness gets a bad name because people confuse it with aggressiveness. But, if there were a yardstick to measure human behaviour, assertiveness would be right in the middle, with passiveness at one end and aggressiveness at the other.

Here are some of the ways passive, assertive, and aggressive people come across to others.

Passive People

  • Have trouble saying no.
  • Do whatever others ask, even if it's very inconvenient.
  • Get "stepped" on a lot.
  • Don't stand up for their rights. They're not even sure if they have any rights.
  • Are taken advantage of. They get resentful but don't tell anyone.

Aggressive People

  • Get their way no matter what.
  • React instantly.
  • Don't care about feelings.
  • Believe winning is everything.
  • Are loud, bossy and overbearing.

Assertive People

  • Are firm and direct.
  • Don't blame others but take full responsibility for themselves.
  • Can express their needs and feelings calmly and easily.
  • Are confident about who they are.
  • Speak firmly and make eye contact.
  • Respect other's rights and expect the same from others.

Be honest with yourself ...... which one are you?
What is "your" approach to handling anger?




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